Know Yourself, Know Your Students: How to use personality frameworks to humanize your classroom (part 4)

Using the personality frameworks in your classroom

Over the past two months, I’ve been writing and thinking a lot about the work I did to use these frameworks in my classroom and how it might be helpful to other teachers in theirs. 

But I’ve also been wondering how to talk about why…

Because, like, is this all about better classroom management? More productivity? Is this really just some form of manipulation to get what we want out of the children in our classroom and the people we work with?

 

Well, I guess it could be.

And I think that’s why when I worked out a title for this series, I landed on “to humanize your classroom”. Because therein lies my hope. For myself. For anyone who may read this. 

This isn’t a behavior management system. Frankly, those words are so creepy to me! Do we really want these kids to be managed? Do we want to manage our colleagues? Do we want to be managed by others?

In the immortal words of Alexis Rose, “Ew.”

But that’s not the work I see us doing here. Sure, this is a somewhat systematic approach. A labeling is taking place, which may make you a little itchy. My husband (who I think is a Rebel) immediately pushed back against the idea of everyone fitting into one of 4 groups (I see the irony. He didn’t.) But, he’s right, too. 

Resisting reductive labels on our students is humanizing. 

That said, I don’t see these frameworks as reductive. I don’t see this as simplifying labels that allow us to group and move on. 

I see these frameworks as tools for developing understanding, for seeing past conflict, and for creating empathetic communication. And I think the frameworks are really helpful because that’s really hard to do that without some guidance. 

Especially with a room of twenty or more fellow humans. 

So I move forward with sharing these ideas and sharing how I used them with a caveat. And that is, “Or don’t.”

Don’t follow my steps. Don’t obey strictly to these frameworks. Because it doesn’t really matter how it’s done. 

If you are showing up to your students as a human interacting with another human, you are already doing this work.

Ultimately I think that is what Gretchen Rubin and Dr. Robyn Jackson are teaching us here. Not how to manage and manipulate people so they do what we want more readily. But how to understand that there is always a good reason when they don’t. 

A good reason that isn’t because of a personal failure on their (or our) part.

That, really, it’s caused by a disconnect.

I’m putting my strategies out here, not to make you a good, better, or best teacher. Not to increase test scores. 

It just is. It’s just us remembering our humanness and how that often makes it tricky to spend all day with ourselves and other people and also get a bunch of stuff done. 

So with that in mind, here are my suggested steps. You can’t do it wrong. 

Steps you can take to better know yourself and your students

1. Use one of these frameworks on yourself. Take the Four Tendencies online quiz from Gretchen Rubin or reflect on your behaviors in terms of what motivates you to invest your time and energy in a task. Look back at posts 1 and 2 in the series to summarize the frameworks.

You may do this with some journaling or thoughtful reflection. What do you notice? What circumstances most often lead to your feelings of success or failure? What strategies do you tend to use to help reach your goals? Why do those seem to work for you? 

Possible example: “I want to have a full understanding of the expectations of a task and how I can effectively achieve them. I like a clear schedule and set rules. Negotiating or changing the plan along the way causes me stress and anxiety.” These could be signs that you are Mastery Driven.

2. Analyze your teaching methods, work, or personal relationships through that lens. What priorities are reflected there? What conflicts or alignments? What do you tend to ignore or avoid? Who do you connect with most? Who do you conflict with?

3. Reframe your thinking to reflect the tendency or Will Driver of those around you with whom you are having the most conflict. This is a really good experiment to try! Look closely at one student or colleague with whom you are struggling to connect. Repeat the practice from step 1, first looking at their patterns and where they might fit in the framework. Then analyze your interactions with that person and their behaviors. How are each of your tendencies or will-drivers creating a disconnect? 

Possible example: “My colleague might be an Obliger. They are looking for opportunities to check-in and collaborate on this task. They are sending me lots of correspondence and want to meet way too often. My inclination is to interpret their behavior as needy or incompetant. Can’t they just take care of it? Why do they need me to hold their hand?”

4. Adjust your thinking. Call upon yourself to eliminate any negative discourses about that person that may be lingering in the back of your mind. Replace those thoughts with compassionate understanding about what they may experience or perceive when they interact with you on a task.

Possible example: “As an Obliger, they want to work in community with me. They respect my input and want to create a quality product. They care a lot about the work we are doing. They care about me.”

5. Adjust your actions and words. Use your new perspective to build successful circumstances for your interactions with this person. What language can you use that is more likely to resonate with them? What conditions can you create that will be more meaningful to them? How can you support their understanding of your motivations as well?

Possible example: “We can create a schedule for checking-in and steps for completing our project. This way I won’t be overwhelmed or annoyed with their need for outer accountability and they will feel supported. I can also use language that affirms them and emphasizes that I value their contribution.”

6. Don’t demand perfection. This applies to yourself and the other person. Know that you won’t always align, but that is not because of a shortcoming in either of you. Allow for apologies and redos. 

7. Keep trying. Believe in the possibility to connect positively with this person and don’t give up on them when things go awry. 

Because there will be times when we are going to be at odds with students and coworkers whose motivations and priorities don’t match our own, it can be easy to slip into negative judgments. We know though that these judgments at best don’t serve anyone, and, at worst, promote damaging discourses, especially with our students.

We can develop a mindset based on the understanding that each of us has a genuine reason for our behaviors and that one is not more worthy than another.

We can come to understand ourselves and our students. 

When we create a space that attempts to connect to each individual, I believe we are honoring the humanity of each person in the room.

Know Yourself, Know Your Students: How to use personality frameworks to humanize your classroom (Part 3)

Reframe your thinking to humanize your classroom

For the past few months, I’ve been writing and reflecting on Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies and Dr. Robyn Jackson’s theory of Will-Drivers. I’ve been thinking about where my behaviors and habits of thinking fall in these frameworks, and the impact that has in my classroom. I have come to the conclusion that applying an intrapersonal understanding (one of myself) can help me understand my interactions with colleagues and students.

I’ve seen the impact on interpersonal understandings as a result of looking at my student and colleagues through the lens of these frameworks, too.

Behaviors that seem, on the surface, to reflect a lack of care or drive are really reflections of a different interpretation of expectations and motivations. 

Doing so helped eliminate mindsets that undermine equitable, compassionate perspectives of my students. Thoughts about a student being lazy, careless, or disrespectful are untrue assumptions based on a disconnection between my own expectations and motivations and the student’s. 

And making these judgements about students does not allow for their existence as full people in my classroom. 

As Dr. Jackson points out, we can’t purchase a script of what to say to each student based on their will-driver or tendency. Instead, in understanding a student in terms of how they respond to a circumstance, and in seeing that response as justified and reasonable, we humanize them. 

In developing an understanding of myself and my students, I create a space where we can all thrive.

Examine how your classroom reflects your motivations

Based on the 4 Tendencies and Will-Driver frameworks (see blog post 1 and 2 for more information on these) I recognize my behaviors and motivations align most with a Questioner tendency and a purpose-driven Will-Driver. 

Before I invest time and effort in a task, I want to know the why. I am happy to work out the how and when later, and I don’t mind going for it alone. I care most about things I see as purposeful. 

When something is expected of me that I do not see as worthy or meaningful, I will challenge, avoid, or argue. I don’t respond well to expectations that are not fully justified. I need to turn outer expectations into my own self-validated inner expectations.

I am not generally motivated by competition, prizes, or threats. I tend to see these as a manipulation and push back.

But that’s just me.

What about you?

What about your students? How do their responses reflect their motivations?

A student challenges an expectation with “Do I have to do this?” 

A student avoids an expectation by doing something, anything else. 

A student argues or refuses to participate.

And then we, the teachers, are frustrated… defeated… angry… disappointed...

Because we’ve done the work. We’ve planned and prepared. We’ve put thought, time, and effort into creating and delivering a task. Our Tendency or Will-Driver has likely been met - that’s why the work got done on our end. 

When I plan lessons, it’s important that I am able to identify the task’s purpose as meaningful. For others it may be that it meets a district or school expectation, represents one’s professional goals (such as creating great edtech lessons or using representative literature, etc.), or was designed in community with other teachers. 

Although each of our classrooms is likely to reflect our own motivations and expectations, that won’t translate to all students or colleagues.

The work, then, is to come to an understanding of why and make adjustments to support communication and understanding.